Monday, December 10, 2012

Santa and the Economy

Life has been... Innnnttteeeerrrresting...
I won't go into detail, but, oh. my. heavens. Someone save me.

Here's a few things though:

The other night I got a sudden craving. Ran (Yes, ran. Big belly and all.) to the kitchen yelling, "Get out of my way dogs!! I'm makin' cookies!!!" Don't mess with me and my cravings or you might lose your life.

What I would like for my husband to say to me; "You've worked hard today. I can tell you are having painful contractions right now. Go sit down and I will finish putting the cookies in the oven."
What Roger actually does; Eats lots of cookie dough then says, "I'm tired... I'm going to sit down."(sigh) .... Men....

You know that horrible horror show music that plays in your mind when you open your toddlers bedroom door and smell a stinky diaper then realise the diaper is not on the toddler?? I do. I know that music all too well.

And nothing like looking at your checking account to find out one of your adorable children spent your entire family's Christmas budget on buying who knows what on their father's cell phone... How they got past having to type in our password we have no idea.
Now, to figure out how to explain Santa losing his budget for their Christmas gifts... Here's what I've come up with so far: 
1. Due to the economy, Santa had to cut down his 'nice list' to just the top 1000 nice kids... I'm sorry, but none of you made the cut... 
2. One of Santa's reindeer broke it's.... uh... wing?? and couldn't fly so they weren't able to make it out for Christmas this year... Sorry. 
3. Some of Santa's elves joined a union and went on strike... Santa had to close down his entire factory and Christmas had to be canceled. They are hoping by next year Willie Wonka and his Oompaa Loompaas will have bought the factory and saved Christmas. It would be a good decision on Wonka's part since they could get all the stocking candy from the chocolate factory...

Sunday, December 2, 2012

One of Those Days

Ever have one of those days where you wonder why in the world God chose you to be a mother? I do. Lately all the time. You know those days when you are yelling so loud that you just know that anyone who passes by your house is hearing you and muttering, "That must be what Hell is like."
Yep. That's me! And if you have no idea what I'm talking about you either don't have children or you need to get off my blog. Tonight after the kids went to bed I was taking a bath trying to relax and it hit me. Vitamin D!
Let me explain. I was on antidepressants for about 7 years and they didn't help me much. I kept telling the doctors and they would either up my dosage or change brands. Finally a genius tested my vitamin D levels. They were extremely low. He put me on majorly high doses and voila! Problem solved. Naturally I can't be on high doses all the time, so I have to watch for my symptoms to show their ugly head and start taking higher doses for a while till my levels are back to normal.
Anyway. Vitamin D! I haven't been able to keep down my prenatal vitamins at all so it makes perfect sense that I'd be low again. Oh. Thank. Heavens. I was beginning to think I was possessed and expected my head to spin around in circles at any moment!
On a side note, Abby told my sister today, "You need to get married now so you can get pregnant."